Single and the Dating Life: More Tips for the Dating again Set

A (mental) list maker, thought to expand an earlier Dating (again) Tips.

Grooming habits for the man who does not see himself as “metro sexual” (personal hygiene, manscaping or man-tainance); a bath seems to be something men rarely do. Missing out on the restorative value of a bath with Epsom salt (magnesium sulfate), known amongst many as a curative and a relaxant. Being relaxed at a first date is essential. The meeting is already laden with anticipation, unspoken expectations, and a pull to simply have a good time. Why not start out in a calm state. Go for it, draw a warm bath, add Epsom salt, bubbles and bring your rubber ducky –let it be fun.

During the prep phase, consider exfoliating by use of salt scrub, face scrub or mask. Gently get rid of the old skin, you will achieve a natural glow. You will be surprise how black heads and other "face" related concerns can be soothed away. The intention is to feel your best and you will look your best. Secondarily, help yourself maintain a more youthful look.

I do not mean for grooming to be a compulsive habit, but a practice that gives you an added boost of self-confidence. It also marks for you, a date's importance in your social life.

A friend commented after reading an earlier post; speak to "how do you get into the dating pool." For those reticent to simply dive in head first, what can you do after exhausting your friend and family network?

For some, signing on to OKcupid and match dot com are their first inclination, online dating services are just one of a few options for a busy working person.

There are many greet and meet whilst participating in favored activities sponsored by various organizations i.e. scrabble and board game players, tennis and other sports, hiking and walking groups, wine and dine. Give a call, sign up for an activity, and meet new people.

Another is the classic "water dispense/coffee maker" chat among other singles or recently married coworkers. They are not necessarily your friend per se, but they may have ideas on what to do, and where to go meet other singles. Those recalling/ relishing their more recent memories of single-hood may have places that come to mind faster than your roommate.

Something about dating rules, are in order. In the age of post sexual revolution, information age, transitory work/home life, what are good standards to abide by? When both sexes can asks someone out, going Dutch (paying your own way) is a real option, who calls and who plans? It doesn't matter. If the other person does not know you are interested, there will be no next step.

Be first, ask. Let the other person know of your interest in getting to know them etc... If it’s coffee or Happy Hour (HH), no harm done in making a move and getting it started. Can I call you again? I sense anxiety among readers rising, avoiding rejection, temper it with the pluses. You had the courage of your conviction; if the answer is yes, you have an opportunity to explore the infatuation you have held or the spark of interest which caught your attention at the start. As they say, nothing ventured, nothing gained. In our mid-years, no is simply a no. Try not to pile on your baggage.

Before I close, another friend commented on text-ing to ask someone out. She considered it cowardly, though you may not agree; your voice comes across as a human being interested in meeting another person. You may think yourself clever with a one-liner on a device, but its chicken poop.

Stay tuned for another edition of dating (again) tips.

Tips for the First Date

For a lighter read on these gray days in the Bay Area, thought to add tips as subject matter. As many of you know, back in the dating world, roaming and ranging.

Imbedded will be more than one tip in this blurb. Tip(s) for first time (again) daters.

Groom to your hoped for standard. It's time. Have you noticed the secondary gender/sex characteristics making its appearance? Hair where none grew before! or more hair where none are needed (clue: ear hair, Einstein eyebrows, or free roaming beard hair). Shape via professional or trim judiciously (in the comfort of your home). Some of us refer to it as part of manscaping, I much prefer man-tainance.

It is said, a standard for not showing your age is the lack of wrinkles in your face, translated to liberal use of well blended sunscreen. But, have you considered the condition of your hands? For me, a tell-tale sign of aging and somewhat little regard for the importance of a hand shake as part of a first impression. A manicure maybe in order!

Glean your wardrobe, combine casual comfort and “in season” style. A positive impression can be made, by not looking like a much needed redux from an earlier non-vintage ensemble. In San Francisco, irony is expressed in many ways.

If you feel good, you look great. Do what is needed for you. Remember celebrities and the well-heeled have stylist and assistant’s, many of us do not --so plan ahead and put it together. It will be noticed.