Taking a break -post 2009

Wow, what a year, and good riddance. 2 months ago, moved out due to "economic" necessity, somewhat akin to economic migration. The bank, Wachovia, after multiple request and applications did not refinance or modify home loan secured on documented income. However, they gave a deferment of 3 months with interest and fees added to the principal. This occurred well into the US President's Making Home Affordable edict had passed. My former home lost nearly 100k in value from purchase price, and its loan interest rate over 7%. The bank or the corporation, heart set to profit, with individuals affiliated deriving livelihood and sense of identity are not high among people with whom to break bread.

Laid off in September 2007, started an independent contracting business during the beginnings of the great recession, and held 2 PT positions. There were inadequate engagements (preferred portfolio of 5-6 on going clients), with payment schedule often times late -- keeping up with housing cost was challenging.

Making ends meet by cutting expenses, not contributing to retirement, and health insurance premiums taking 1/8 of take home salary --it is a wonder, how much effort was exerted to stay financially and emotionally afloat. All fronts were unrelenting.

Not allowing the gloom to permeate life as experienced, its challenges colored the day to day. Supportive friends offering tangible practical assistance, yoga, and appreciating waking every day was all soothing balms. The chance to re-create one’s self requires hope and keeping to a promise of doing the best you can.

Living my version of an American dream: immigrated at a young age, schooled when California led the way to high quality public post secondary education, option to leave jobs encumbered with petty politics, management lacking in creativity or tenacity, or lost its intentions for doing good, still have a home with a mortgage in the Bay Area (where my mother lives) – and writing about it, why would I not be thankful.

I need a break to breathe, pause, celebrate, and mark the coming of a new phase in adult life. Dave and I are heading to New Orleans for music, food and most importantly friendship and love. Angelamia and I have known one another since the age of twelve, our birthdays only 3days apart. She is an inspiration, keeping up a good fight after 2 major surgeries, surviving breast cancer, and rebuilding post Katrina, she rocks. Love at middle age. She found her life mate in the course of rebuilding, and recently became domestic partners. Important to her was returning to teaching music, kids and teenagers, her passion, while working in construction. She is unwavering in her commitment to herself as a creative person, working and real.

2010 is a year to look forward too, living day by day, staying true to the person I’m becoming --surrounded by loving people, memories and experiences made.